It’s just a few months into the New Year, and I’ve already attended two weddings and two funerals. Watching these events close together made me think about love and death. They are more connected than we might realize.
One of the funerals was for my uncle. Listening to people share their memories of him was touching. They spoke about how kind he was, how curious he was about the world, and how he treated everyone, from politicians to everyday folks, with respect. This got me pondering: what will people say about you when you’re gone? What would they remember about you at your memorial service? This brings up an important question: who are you, and how do you show yourself to the world?
From what I’ve seen lately at funerals, it seems like people remember your character more than your job. Unless you’ve invented something groundbreaking, how you treated others really matters. At memorials, people often talk about being kind, warm, funny, and honest. These are the qualities that make us human.
As we get older, many people embrace their quirks. They’ve stopped pretending to be someone they’re not. In a way, meeting older folks can be refreshing because they show you the beauty of being real and authentic.
But can you be genuine in your forties or fifties without waiting until you’re older? It’s tough because life is full of roles—we are siblings, parents, and friends all at once. Each role has its own expectations. Sometimes you have to hold back what you really feel just to keep the peace.
Recently, I had a thought: maybe I should tell my mother how much she means to me. When I suggested this to my husband, he said, “That’s not my style. I show love in small ways.”
This brings up a larger question: do our loved ones know how we feel? We often tell our kids how much we love them, but what about our parents? My mother, who is now 86, doesn’t say “I love you,” but her love shines through her actions. For example, when I mention writing about sarees, she asks others for tips, showing that she cares about what I do.
As we just celebrated Valentine’s Day and are approaching Holi, which both honor love, it’s a good moment to think about expressing love for those we might overlook: our parents.
Leave a Reply